Thanksgiving is a special time—family comes together, great food fills the table, and everyone settles in for a day of gratitude, warmth, and laughter. And who better to bring the laughs than the contractor in the family? Contractors are known for fixing problems, building solutions, and keeping cool under pressure—even when the turkey timer goes off unexpectedly. This year, give your family something extra to smile about with these 20 clean, light-hearted Thanksgiving jokes made just for contractors.
Share them around the table, between courses, or right after Grandpa’s third plate. They’re made for all ages, avoid sarcasm, and are dinner-table safe. So grab your fork, pass the stuffing, and get ready to be the official Thanksgiving comedian.
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20 Jokes to Build Thanksgiving Laughter
1. Why did the contractor bring a hammer to Thanksgiving dinner?
Because someone said the turkey needed to be “tenderized,” and he took it literally!
**2. Why do contractors love Thanksgiving so much?
Because it’s the only time they get paid in turkey instead of change orders!
**3. What do you call a contractor who carves the turkey perfectly?
A precision cut specialist.
**4. Why did the contractor inspect the stuffing?
He wanted to make sure it was up to code.
**5. Why don’t contractors argue on Thanksgiving?
Because everyone agrees the gravy should flow freely.
**6. What did the contractor say when the kitchen lights went out during dinner?
“No problem—this is just a temporary power outage. Call it ambiance!”
**7. Why was the contractor not worried about burning the turkey?
He already submitted a turkey fire prevention plan.
**8. What do contractors and Thanksgiving cooks have in common?
They both know how to turn chaos into something beautiful.
**9. What did the contractor say about the giant turkey?
“Looks like a load-bearing bird.”
**10. Why did the contractor measure the cranberry sauce?
He wanted to make sure it met the level spread standard.
**11. Why did the contractor bring a blueprint to the dinner table?
To plan out the most efficient route for seconds.
**12. What did the contractor say when the pumpkin pie was served?
“That’s what I call a perfectly finished surface.”
**13. Why did the contractor compliment the mashed potatoes?
Because they were smooth, seamless, and free of cracks.
**14. Why don’t contractors ever get lost on Thanksgiving?
They always follow the floor plan from the dining room to the dessert table.
**15. Why was the contractor the first one to fall asleep after dinner?
He followed the official Thanksgiving shutdown procedure.
**16. What did the contractor call the kids’ table?
The junior apprentice station.
**17. Why did the contractor refuse to cut the turkey at an angle?
He only works with straight, clean cuts.
**18. What do you get when a contractor cooks Thanksgiving dinner?
A meal that comes with a one-year workmanship warranty.
**19. Why did the contractor inspect the dinner table legs?
He wanted to make sure the load capacity matched the amount of food.
**20. Why did the contractor smile when everyone went back for thirds?
He loves seeing a job well done.
Building Memories That Last
Thanksgiving is more than just a holiday—it’s a reminder of everything we’re grateful for: family, friends, health, good food, and the people who stand with us all year long. Contractors rarely slow down, so this once-a-year pause means even more. It’s a chance to sit back, laugh with loved ones, and reflect on everything we’ve built together—whether it’s homes, businesses, relationships, or communities.
Jokes might seem small, but they help create memories around the table that live long after the last slice of pie is gone. When you share these lighthearted contractor-themed jokes, you’re not just making people smile—you’re helping construct the kind of Thanksgiving moment your family will look back on and remember fondly.
This year, take pride not only in the work you do, but in the joy and humor you bring to your home. A few laughs can build bridges faster than any construction crew.
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Warm Thanksgiving Wishes From BGES Group
On behalf of BGES Group, we want to wish you and your entire family a warm, happy, healthy, and blessed Thanksgiving. Whether you’re spending it at home, with extended family, on a jobsite break, or hosting a house full of relatives, we hope your table is full, your heart is light, and your day is filled with gratitude and peace.
Contractors work hard all year, often seven days a week. You deserve this day to relax, eat well, laugh a lot, and enjoy the people who matter most.
If you ever need help with better liability or workers’ compensation coverage, a more responsive insurance partner, or someone who truly understands contractors, BGES Group is here for you.
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BGES Group Contact Information
BGES Group
Specialists in New York Construction Insurance & Workers’ Compensation Insurance
📞 Gary Wallach: 914-806-5853